Gypsy Dharma Boots

Because they are feckin' AWEsome and I would really love to win a pair.

In particular these pair: http://www.gipsydharma.com/collections/boots/products/antique-red-knee-high-leather-boots

Or these: http://www.gipsydharma.com/collections/boots/products/black-leather-ankle-boots

Or maybe these: http://www.gipsydharma.com/collections/boots/products/black-leather-ankle-boots

Except my g/f might try to steal the last pair. XD WORTH IT.

Anyway, see more at their website: http://www.gipsydharma.com/

Also feel free to enter their competition, which closes all too soon. but don't worry, they'll do it again next month.

And no, I wasn't paid to do this. I just really, really, really, REALLY want a pair of their boots!

/ramble

Another weird dream: Warehouse Not-13

I watch too much "TV" sometimes. Particularly shows I really enjoy. Lately it's been Warehouse 13. A bunch of federal agents conscripted to work in the Department of Weird and Unusual Artifact Collections. I love the show and it's twist on legends of items, people and myths.

Last night/Yesterday I think I may have reached my limit on weirdness, afyer having reached the end of season 3 over the course of one weekend. I had a dream based deeply on the mythos of the show.

I can only remember the end because my alarm startled me so throughly it embedded itself in my mind. Usually its the opposite so I have no idea why this was different. I have yet to analyze the dreams, so here goes nothing.

I was an Agent of the warehouse, amd at ome stage I worked closely with Claudia, the youngest agent if W13 and it's future Caretaker. I remember the 2 of us teaming up and running around like mad. So much running. So much urgency. So much FUN. Not just an adrenaline rush, but a fully taxing mental experience as we had to outwit people and solve the quandary oc artifacts. Whete they came from, what they did, how to neutralise them. Intellectually it was challenging and pure fun.

Somewhere along the way I must have made an error in judgement. Or at least something went wrong and I copped the brunt of the backlash. It, whatever it was, left me unable to communicate.  I could think clearly and coherently, but I was unable to verbalise or outwardly communicate my thoughts to my coworkers. To the outside world I was now mentally retarded duw to a head injury.

I was, however, still able to walk and follow instructions (because I could still think for myself and understand what was being said to me) so I stayed with W13 but was just tagging and shelving artifacts now. No more missions for me.

Claudia felt so bad, she took it really badly and I couldn't make her understand that it wasn't her fault and I certainly didn't blame her. She took it upon herself to take care of me; making sure I ate and helping me dress, tucking me in at night and taking me to and from all my appointments and visits.

I remember being extra frustratef by most of this, especially when she wasn't around. I'd throw frustrated tantrums when others couldn't understand me, and cry when I went ignored becayse I couldn't speak out.

One day Claudia brought me ice cream because I was having a particularly bad day, and I'm not sure if she was seriously tryinh yo tell me something or not because it was a special ice cream. The cone was filled only to the brim, and instead of having a scop of ice cream rounding out the top it had some sort of weird ice cream fruit on top. It was shaped like a heart and cut into a spiral and looked like fancy chocolate. Jokingly she said to me "now be careful and don't break my heart".

I tried to be extra careful with it, but I couldn't seem to get anyone to understand I had a prickle buried under my thumbnail that needed to be removed, it hurt so much it was making me cry, but I couldn't verbalise it. Even Claudia thought I was just extra happy with having ice cream. It was soooo frustrating.

She went back into the kitchen and in frustration I followed after her, but in my stumbling I actually dropped the heart fruit on the floor. Claudia teased me about breaking her heart, but couldn't clean it up immediately as she was in the middle of something,  and I started crying. Again, in frustration not actual sadness but none of them could tell the difference apparently.

I remember I bent down to pick it up myself, but both my hands had something in them, so I put them on the table and used both hands to scoop it up. Claudia made a remark about not loosing any pieces or she might break or something. In my head I related it to whatever had ultimately happened to me, and something just... clicked.

I said something about never wanting to break her heart,  that I would always put it back together, all the pieces, even the pieces of her mind. I'm not sure how much came out my mouth though. I was, by that point at least, beyond trying so hard just to get my feelings across. I had throughly fallen in love with her and would never be able to tell her. Or if I could she would never understand anyway so I had nothing to lose.

However, whatever else came out my mouth the only words I remember actually verbalizing... "all my glasses are chipped.  (Pause) All my bowls too." Claudia literally dropped whatever she had in her hand and turned to face me. It was probably the most complete sentence I had said since my accident but it registered with her somehow. Ticked some check box in her mind. "But I have all the pieces." I said to her.

I think she was too shocked to actually say or do anything, and I was staring at the pieces of broken heart on the table before me. Slowly I put two of them together and it drew her attention to my hands. She saw the thing stuck under my thumbnail, she finally comprehended what was wromg with me, and more importantly knew how to fix me. That broken piece under my nail had broken me. If it was removed and put ba k wuth the rest of the artifact I would be fixed. It wasn't permenant like they had suspected.

Claudia also knew what I meant, that I was trying to tell her I loved her, and I could see the joy on her expression, but I think she wanted me... the coherent version of me, to hear that and be able to reply to it. I remember she grabbed a pair of tweezers from the med kit, and I -felt- her grab the splinter... and pull...

Right as my alarm went off. I still feel it. My thimb still tingles in that spot. It hurt when I woke up but now more than 2 hours later its -still- there. I don't have a splinter IRL. My thumb is perfectly well. But my nerve still tingles like it's been stabbed. Like a splinter has been removed. As if reminding me of.... something.  I have no idea.

Mondo weirdness.

[Warning] Not for Arachnophobes

So had the worst experience of the whole day early today. Just to double check if you're arachnophobic (ie afraid of spiders) do NOT, under ANY circumstances,  read further yhan this intro.

Seriously, don't do it.

You'll regret it.

Especially if this crops up in your feed before bed.

Definitely turn around and walk away.

...

Are you sure?

...

Okay....

...

If you're absolutely sure...

...

So going to work this morning (about half hour ago as I write this) I didn't think anything of grabbing my jacket and rushing out the door to the bus stop one block over. Do it every other work day morning just the same. Particularly Tuesday when I've just spent a 3 day weekend relaxing with art and games. Don't work Mondays you see. Avoid mondayitis.

But I get #conspiracyTuesday instead.

Friday I took my beloved AVcon jacket off and left it on the bathroom floor. A mistake I wont be repeating now. Picked it up and threw it before racong to the bus stop.

Get to the stop and as I'm checking I have everything I notice a couple of small spiders on my sleeve. Just harmless baby ones. Brushed them off without a second thought, except to wonder where they came from. I didn't brush against anything as far as I know.

Feel a tickle in my sleeve... on the inside... without thinking I lift my sleeve and peek inside...

Baby... spiders... everywhere.

Dropped my shit; bag, ecig, headphones,  phone... threw my jacket off and dropped it too, and stepped back. Took a breath and started removing the atuff from my pockets and turning my jacket inside out to make sure they all fell off.

As I pick up my jacket the 2 other people at the stop notice Mama Spider too. Just a huntsman, they're not dnagerously poisonous to humans. They just sting apparently. But they can be wildly relentless when their eggs/young are threatened. Thankfully she must have been over that phase as she simply ran away when I poked her off my bag.

But holy balls did that wake me up. We've always had Daddy Long Legs spiders in the house. They keep the insect population down, they can have all the babies they want. I don't much care they just get evicted at inspection time.

Redbacks/Poisonous spiders I kill. On sight.

Usually if I see huntsmans I escort them to the tree at the bottom of the backyard. But I did not see her in the bathroom. Or her egg sack. Or the babies at all when I grabbed my jacket. Not a HINT of that.

Or I wouldn't have done it. Obviously.

And despite arachnophobia not being a cripling fear in me (thank fuck) I think I've had quite enough of them for one day.

The rest of the week too.

And maybe the rest of the year.

I wanna go home and have a shower already. ~shudders~ ick. Okay, I'm done.

Later.

Good News/Bad News (A humble plea)

So fiance had an appointment with Immigration today, and it didn't go as well as expected. Basically the maximum length of the visa she's on is 12 months, which she's now overstayed. There was nothing to say that we couldn't extend it until August, there was no warning about it expiring in February, this is the FIRST time we've been contact by them in regards to this. We had no warning and didn't see it coming.

So after meeting with someone from Immigration about it we've basically been given an ultimatum.... 2 weeks to either apply for the marriage visa or get a ticket back home.

She can't. Plain and simple, she can't go back. She has nothing to go back to. She escaped from an uncaring family that was trying to actively kill her through neglect and bullying. She has very few friends, none of them she knows IRL, and none of them she trusts well enough to live with them. She will end up homeless and pennyless.

That really cannot happen. I don't want that to happen. I want her to stay, but the Marriage Visa we need will cost us about $5000 - Prospective Marriage Visa (VAC1) is $3085, plus he will need to have his fingerprints taken and sent back to the US so that another background check can be done, there may be a health check that needs to be done at our own expense and can include a full range of tests including (but not limited to) Xrays, every single document we submit has to be a certified copy which means we need to get them actually certified probably in triplicate... there's a whole bunch of minor things that will need to be done in order to make this happen.

That's money we don't have. Straight up I'm already struggling to pay off the loans that I had to take out just to get her here, the visa renewals... we though we had until August. Now we have until Friday after next.

There is no way I can pay this on my own; I'm the sole income provider for this household. Every dollar we earn goes straight into rent and bills, most of the time we can't even afford food and I have to take on commissions for that extra little bit to get us through til next payday... living week to week on commissions for food.

I need help. I hate asking, I don't like begging... but right now it's the only option that we have. I have to rely on people to help me any way they can. I need people to spread the word about my campaign: http://gofundme.com/4kvb40 - Every dollar that we can get will get us that little bit closer to keeping her here and alive. If she's forced to go back... if she's forcefully deported... that's the end of it. She won't be able to come back, and she won't.... well I don't want to think about that.

I'm going to try to stream all this weekend and all next weekend. Every free moment I have when I'm awake, until I can't stay away any more. I'll take sketchfest commissions (http://sketchfest.weirddreamsink.com) and draw doodles, and entertain you with games and randomness and music and... whatever it takes.

If you can help please do... spread the word, tell your friends, post on Facebook and Twitter, drop a spare dollar in the donation tin when you have one. Everything you can think of. I'm open to all ideas as well. If there's something you wanna see, something you want me to draw, something you want me to do... well I haven't got a webcam so I can't take silly challenges, but I'll try my best.

ANYTHING.

This is me swallowing my pride and begging. I hate doing it, I prefer to give then to receive, I prefer to help others before I help myself... but I cannot do this on my own.

Please help me?

The FML Rant (Warning, language)

Just so y'all understand why I'm gonna be uber stressed for the next couple of days.

Okay, rant time. I got a voicemail today from Immigration wanting me to call them. APPARENTLY my 12 month visa extension was only for twelve months total time from when I arrived. Now, what's wrong with this picture? The website doesn't say it's from arrival. It just says how long are you applying for? 3 months, 6 months, or 12 months. Any logical person would think that if you apply for twelve months, that means you're getting twelve months more since there is NOTHING at all on the site that explains it. So now apparently, my visa has been expired since Feb 11th. We paid right under a thousand dollars for this extension. I now have a meeting Thursday at the office in the CBD. Who wants to bet that they're going to demand more money from me? This is beyond ridiculous. First I am told I can apply for a working permit when I get down here, only to be rudely told I can't while in the country. Then they don't disclose the fees properly so that we get a nasty surprise when my extension goes from three hundred dollars to a thousand, and now this crap? Thank you Immigration, this is a situation that EASILY falls under entrapment laws. You cannot state someone is applying for an extension of XXX amount of time and then turn around later and state that it is not from date of application but instead date of arrival, thereby forcing them into a situation that means their status is illegal. Proper disclosure is a very interesting thing. So, in two days we shall see how this is going to go. I imagine it's going to be quite the headache.

On top of that my $100 headphone's broke, and as a mild touchphobic there goes my one escape from the stupid people that make too much noise on the train. As long as I have my music I have a little bubble that keeps me sane. Already freaked out twice coming home today, tomorrow's going to be even worse.

My car's now out of Rego, another $200 I don't have, so back to shopping by bus which stresses me out more. We can only carry so much, plus bus fare is more than I can afford for two people. I can barely afford the $60 I need to get to and from work every fortnight.

And this is all on top of the fucking bank screwing me over for the second time in a row with my loan repayments. I'm now $300 overdue, and though I have a payment arrangement in place that's $210 a fortnight that I don't really have.

We were going to go in to the CBD (Central Business District - the "suburb" where I work in the centre of town) and go look at changing all my debts over to the Police Credit Union which will give me discounts because of work and all. But couldn't afford to get my Fiance a freakin' bus fare to get her into town. And right now it's really the least of the problems.

I have no idea what I'm going to do any more. When it's just maybe $100 a fortnight extra we need I can usually make that up in a couple of wing-it commissions or whatnot. And I'm aware there was just a Fur Con of some sort so a lot of my regulars are out of funds for the moment. That's okay, we can deal with only a little bit of food (though as a fucking diabetic I really shouldn't be skipping meals, not having lunch today has left me shaking violently and freezing cold, and so exhausted I'm trying so hard not to pass out at the computer right now and I have to triple check my typing here).

I'm just stressing myself into sickness, right now I don't even care about the fucking inspection I have on Thursday that I am completely unprepared for. I haven't the strength in me to actually clean any more, and compared to the possibility of losing my fiance and having her potentially deported it's just... so insignificant I can't give a fuck whether I get kicked out of here or not.

I'm just... done. At this point in time I'm done. I can't care about anything any more except her. I don't care about eating, or sleeping, I don't care if my house is clean enough for inspection or not. I don't care if the bank even defaults me on the loan, don't care about making the repayments. I'm going to be tired and cranky, and prone to outbursts of anger (and probably quite a few more tears than I'm crying right now)... so I apologize in advance if anyone cops it in any way.

I just have to make it through thursday.

#FuckThursday

Sigh. Sorry for the rant but.... yeah. There you go.
/stressedoutsobstory